Clarity
The very top of the building was stuck in the clouds. The bottom third of the building was visible, jutting sharply out of the ground, growing tall and reaching the sky, where, at the very top, it was always concealed by clouds. Even on days when the sky was so blue, it blended seamlessly into the horizon of the ocean. Even on days when the air was so crisp, you could bite into it like you would a sweet red apple on an autumn day. Even on days when there was not a single other cloud in the sky, and the sunlight unapologetically beat down and seeped into every nook and cranny in the city. Even on those days, the top of the building was still stuck in a cloud of its own.
Everyone called it the Crystal building because it very much looked like a crystal growing out of the ground. It was angular and irregular, and the exterior shone brightly in the daylight. Reya watched people every day, enter and exit the Crystal building. She wondered what they did in there. She wondered what they saw from the top, high up in the clouds, shielded away, hidden in the hazy mess in the sky. There were theories, of course, of who went in and out of the Crystal building. Rumours floated around of cult meetings, religious practices, and secret rendezvous with the leaders of big corporations. Reya didn’t know which to believe. As she sat on the park bench that day, and unpacked her egg-salad sandwich, Reya looked out over the hills to the Crystal building, and considered them all. She looked down at her lunch, feeling a low rumble in her stomach, but not wanting to take a bite. Reya began packing it back up when she noticed something peculiar. A small note fell out of her lunchbox and onto her lap. Reya gently unfolded it and read it.
Reya, make your way to the Crystal building tonight.
Reya held the note in her hands, glancing around nervously. She was alone. She folded the note neatly and placed it into her trouser pockets, sitting quietly with her thoughts, and her uneaten lunch.
Reya stood in front of the Crystal building, staring at her own reflection in the glassy door. She adjusted her hair, tugged at her shirt, pulled up on her pants, and smoothed everything out. The trousers she wore were a size too small, and Reya felt like her shirt didn’t look all that flattering on her. As she reached for the handle of the door, her heart began to race. She felt for her inhaler in her back pocket. Before she pushed the doors open, Reya looked up at the sky once more. The top of the building was still hiding in a mass of clouds, despite the clear spring day they were having.
Reya realized she was afraid. Her hands felt clammy against the cold steel of the door handle, her jaw clenched tightly shut. With one push, she walked timidly into the Crystal building, checking her expectations at the door. She entered into a large, well-lit lobby looking area. It was empty, and smelled like the sterile scent of a hospital. There were arrows on the floor that Reya followed, noticing the barren walls and hearing only the click-clack of her own shoes. At the end of the long hallway, Reya reached an elevator door. With nowhere else to go, she pushed the button and the doors to the elevator glided open. The elevator was larger than any elevator Reya had been in before. It was the size of a small room in fact. Reya carefully stepped in. The only button on the panel read ‘CLARITY’.
That’s an odd destination, she thought to herself, and pushed the button.
The doors to the elevator closed, everything went dark, and Reya was going up, up, up…
Reya could feel something pushing against her in the darkness. A weight, crushing her chest, making it hard for her to take a deep breath. She tried to shake the feeling, but she felt off. She felt detached from herself. Depressed. An overwhelming sadness consumed her mind. She wanted to cry, cream, collapse to the ground, wrap herself completely in the darkness that enveloped her in the elevator. She wanted to be consumed by it entirely.
The lights came on and the walls in the elevator surrounding her were mirrors now. Reya could see herself. A grotesque figure, a warped version of her body. She had to look away, ashamed of how she thought the world would see her. She buried her face in her hands. When she looked up again, the figure in the mirror had shifted. It looked like her own body, but Reya couldn’t quite recognize it. She felt the urge to punch the reflection she saw in the mirror. Who was this version of herself that looked so happy and unbothered? She felt jealous and angry, so filled with rage she had to turn away from the reflection altogether.
The lights went out again. Reya stood in the silence, listening to her own breathing. Memories of Reya’s past flashed into her mind. Happy moments with her friends and family. She felt whole. She felt the weight on her chest lift, a feeling of hope consumed her now.
The lights came on and the elevator doors silently slid open. Reya stepped out and realized that she was at the top of the building, in the clouds. Except, it wasn’t in the clouds at all up here. She was surrounded by windows and the view below her overlooking the city was perfectly clear. Not a cloud in sight. Reya stood there for a few long moments, appreciating the clarity she had here, feeling lighter, like she had overcome a part of herself in that elevator. When she decided to leave, Reya stepped into the elevator confidently, and stared at herself the entire way down, a smile never leaving her face.
