John was in his late thirties when he decided to get his driver’s license. For no particular reason that morning, John woke up and decided that today was the day.
This was how John lived most of his life. Orphaned at birth, John spent the first eighteen years of his life in and out of strangers’ homes until he was thrust into the world, alone and directionless. He spent the next eighteen years of his life doing odd end jobs for cash and traveling to wherever he could afford.
But today, John wanted to learn how to drive. It was a beautifully clear day, somewhere in the middle of Nowhere, with a baby blue sky stretched out over the horizon. John took the bus to the Department of Motor Vehicles, and daydreamed about what car he could buy with the few pennies in his pocket. He arrived at a boring brown brick building with exactly seven (he counted) windows. The smell in the building brought back floods of memories for John. It smelled like the orphanage. Not bad, exactly, but just a bit… forgotten. He walked up to a man wearing thick framed glasses, sitting behind a desk.
“I’d like to get my driver’s license, please,” John started.
“Do you have any identification on you?” The man asked, without peeling his eyes from his phone screen. John shuffled nervously in place.
“No, I don’t have any,” He muttered, rubbing the back of his neck and glancing down at his feet. The man looked up and met John’s gaze.
“Go down that hallway and take the first door on your left. They’ll look up your records there and give you a temporary identification card. Then you can bring that back here and I’ll get your test going.”
John gave a curt nod and followed the given instructions. The only sound in the building was his own footsteps, and the thudding of his heart.
As he entered the room, he was greeted by an odd looking man who was much too smiley to be working in such a drab looking building as this.
“Hi,” John started, “I need a temporary identification card so I can get my driver’s license.”
The man smiled even more broadly, revealing a mouth full of yellowing teeth.
“Your name, sir?” His voice was so unbelievably high-pitched, that it took John a moment to register what he had said.
“John Doe,” He finally said, “From Nowhere.”
The man furiously typed away at a computer for a few minutes. He took a deep breath and looked up at John with a sadness in his eyes. His smile, however, never left his face.
“It seems you don’t exist, sir.”
John looked at him with beady eyes and raised eyebrows.
“What do you mean? I’m right here, aren’t I?”
“Yes, but you don’t exist, sir.”
“But I’ve lived a long life so far, I’ve seen things, I’ve done things, I’ve spoken to plenty of people. How could that be?”
“There doesn’t seem to be any record of that, sir.”
“There’s no record that I exist?”
John was beginning to feel frustrated by this conversation. He tightened his grip on his bag, and sighed. The man pointed to a sign behind him. John’s gaze followed it.
“We are the Office of Births, Marriages, and Deaths, sir. Unless you have one of those certificates handy in that trench coat of yours, you don’t exist to us.”
John blinked, and returned his gaze to the man in front of him.
“What should I do about that, then?”
The man paused and looked thoughtful for a moment. Obviously no one had asked him before about how to start existing. Then, and idea struck him.
“You could get married, sir,” He said proudly.
“Just to get a certificate?” John replied.
“Well, the other option is dying, sir, and I don’t believe you want to do that just yet.”
“No, I suppose I don’t,” John said, his cheeks rising in colour.
The man shrugged and continued to stare at John, waiting for his next instructions. John didn’t know what to say next, so he simply turned on his heel and left the office building. As he passed by the first man with the thick rimmed glasses, he heard him yell out.
“Hey! I’ve got your driver’s test ready here. Did you get your temporary identification?”
John turned to him as he was leaving the building.
“Sorry, I’ll have to come back on a day where I exist.”
The man gave him a curious look, and then returned to his phone once more.
John pushed open the door and tried to take a deep breath and fill his lungs with fresh air. His heart was pounding. A gentle tap on his shoulder nearly startled John to death. He turned around to see a woman standing there, with her hands clasped in front of her.
“So sorry to startle you. I couldn’t help but overhear your conversation in the office,” She paused, looking compassionately into John’s eyes. “Are you all right?”
John caught his breath as his eyes fell on the woman, relaxing.
“Yes. Though it is a strange feeling to not exist, even though I feel like I’ve lived a thousand lives.”
The woman considered this for a moment.
“I would find it rather nice to not exist sometimes,” She said, sweetly.
“Why do you say that?”
“You could be anyone you wanted to be. There’s no piece of paper telling you who you’re supposed to be. It seems freeing to me.”
“I guess I never saw it that way.”
The woman seemed pleased with having convinced John that his predicament wasn’t so bad after all.
“Would you like to go get a coffee?” She asked, “I’d like to hear about your many lives.”
John paused, smiling gently at her.
“I’d like that. What’s your name?”
“Jane.”
“I’m John.”
“Nice to meet you, John.”
And John walked side by side with Jane, chatting away.
They spent much of their time together after that, and John became utterly convinced that if he were to exist at all, it would be entirely for her.
Such a beautiful ending!